December 26, 2009
December 21, 2009
Summer days
So Summer is now here and it's been 3 weeks since I last updated.
The ballet production is now over and I am beyond relieved! It went alright (a word I've been accused of saying way too much and applying to an array of actual feelings). Overall, I was happy with it but I think I'm still in greater awe that's its over - that perhaps, somehow all of 'it' [refer to previous post) is worth it. I've been told its an emotional rollercoaster... I wish it wasn't though.
I think I'm more or less going back next year and perhaps that may stem purely out of my own lazy to make a change about it. Either changing school or the other hard decision as to "Why the hell am I doing this?" (Another friend told me that this mental block comes to everyone who dances full-time at some point or another). My teachers have claimed I've made a great deal of progress, which I am glad about. However, it's not the type of progress I am seen in my own body which greatly irritates me so.
I've also been told to stop being so negative for she claimed I have a pessimistic streak about me which could be potentially damaging in the further when I enter the 'professional world'. I find it ironic though this comes from a woman whom demands perfection; she claims we need to invest greater thought into what we do. In addition, it's same woman who claims we need to feel our body, outside of thought. A great dichotomy in my opinion. Whatever... I've taken the note up and discarded some of her discrepencies, I've come to understand she would say basically anything to try and prove a point... I like the way I think and approach my dancing - without it, I don't think I would have progressed to where I am today. It's not the same approach a typical artist such as herself might use but I still like it.
What else is new...
OH, I've become extremely pasty due to the lack of sun with ballet and all. And I'm actually really looking forward to this summer. I want to get an all over tan but have yet to figure out a discrete way of doing so. I've started to tan quite nice and lightly on the arms and shoulder due all the times I'm in a tank-top but I don't want a farmer tan.
Right, I've also been seeing a certain landscaper again. Only twice though and of course, no progress other than mere confusion on my part. They want to make the trip and drive up to Mildura or something and then onto Sydney to visit some friends... They made the offer while we were out drinking "You can come if you want". I kind of want to go with them. We'll see...
What else...
The man I call my father has also been going at me again for no reason. Since I finish ballet - which was... let's see last Saturday, he's been on another banter on how I'm aimless and without purpose in my life. Consistently and quite condescending asking me what it is I'm going to with it and whether or not I'm ever going to get gainful employment (somehow despite my hours). He did this right after I finish my uni exam... He's just been a massive pr!@k lately to say the least. My sister agrees. He goes through his cycles... such an angry person; suck the fun out of everything.
The ballet production is now over and I am beyond relieved! It went alright (a word I've been accused of saying way too much and applying to an array of actual feelings). Overall, I was happy with it but I think I'm still in greater awe that's its over - that perhaps, somehow all of 'it' [refer to previous post) is worth it. I've been told its an emotional rollercoaster... I wish it wasn't though.
I think I'm more or less going back next year and perhaps that may stem purely out of my own lazy to make a change about it. Either changing school or the other hard decision as to "Why the hell am I doing this?" (Another friend told me that this mental block comes to everyone who dances full-time at some point or another). My teachers have claimed I've made a great deal of progress, which I am glad about. However, it's not the type of progress I am seen in my own body which greatly irritates me so.
I've also been told to stop being so negative for she claimed I have a pessimistic streak about me which could be potentially damaging in the further when I enter the 'professional world'. I find it ironic though this comes from a woman whom demands perfection; she claims we need to invest greater thought into what we do. In addition, it's same woman who claims we need to feel our body, outside of thought. A great dichotomy in my opinion. Whatever... I've taken the note up and discarded some of her discrepencies, I've come to understand she would say basically anything to try and prove a point... I like the way I think and approach my dancing - without it, I don't think I would have progressed to where I am today. It's not the same approach a typical artist such as herself might use but I still like it.
What else is new...
OH, I've become extremely pasty due to the lack of sun with ballet and all. And I'm actually really looking forward to this summer. I want to get an all over tan but have yet to figure out a discrete way of doing so. I've started to tan quite nice and lightly on the arms and shoulder due all the times I'm in a tank-top but I don't want a farmer tan.
Right, I've also been seeing a certain landscaper again. Only twice though and of course, no progress other than mere confusion on my part. They want to make the trip and drive up to Mildura or something and then onto Sydney to visit some friends... They made the offer while we were out drinking "You can come if you want". I kind of want to go with them. We'll see...
What else...
The man I call my father has also been going at me again for no reason. Since I finish ballet - which was... let's see last Saturday, he's been on another banter on how I'm aimless and without purpose in my life. Consistently and quite condescending asking me what it is I'm going to with it and whether or not I'm ever going to get gainful employment (somehow despite my hours). He did this right after I finish my uni exam... He's just been a massive pr!@k lately to say the least. My sister agrees. He goes through his cycles... such an angry person; suck the fun out of everything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)