In the jungle...

... the mighty jungle, the lion sleep tonight!

Today's been an awfully confusing day. I guess it has been like any other in one day. There are certain things we do in which we just go through the motions; whether that be on a high or low note.

Tuesday Afternoon: Desperation - trying to complete a mini mailout of 46. Month long project from inception to finish. Needed it to be at the post office by 5pm.

Night: Delight - Average dinner but awesome drinks with a friend from high school on Chapel; explaining the difference betwee types of Gin and Martini variation, dry, shaken, stirred.

Wednesday afternoon: Frustration & Embarassment - medium level productivity at work, trying to prove that I am NOT incompetent at what I do.

Late Afternoon: Disenchanted - feeling morbidly obessed at my reflection in the ballet mirror. Not only had any technique I had been sapped by the 3 week break, but also the humidity. Note to self, once again, shape up.

Night: Joyful & Lively - Friend's going away drinks at MOO. Suprisingly fun. Though I wasn't expecting anything horrid, the night turned into something so much more than expected.

Today Morning 8am: Neutral, tired - but my mind jumps to getting ready. Need to be in the office early; IT support work.

8:45am: Annoyance - in the car and 'trying' to listen to my iPod, my father's voice in the background. Is he even taking breathes between sentences anymore?

9:30am: Royally PISSED OFF - The same feeling I get everytime, I leave that car regardless of duration. The same feeling I get when I am in the same room with those people pass a distinctive timeframe.

9:40am: Calm - The wind runs the red light. I waited as the Red Man flashed. No rush, deep breathes.

9:45am: Cheerful - The morning buzz at work is still live and kicking. Casual friday, I keep my iPod in my ears with the volumne turned down. People kid as they continue starring at their screens. Funny mass email from the OM [Executive Office Manager/ the "Office Mommy"] I move to my music as I booted up 3 computers simultaneously. I was headed for the kitchen, cereal and milk.

11am: Boredom and Frustration - the computer fails to comply to command prompts from DOS, ignoring standard procedures for setting up a user on a domain. Email configuration for new girl; rejected by outlook - over and over and over...

11:30am: Running Low - a girl in the office got bad news and left for the day. Everyone had crashed emotionally. It was obvious the positive energy this morning was merely an act for all.

1pm: Lacklustre & Hopelessness - the more I hear the less I wanted to know "If they saw a 'B' - they wouldn't even consider them. / But... / ...Yeah, but at the end of the day, grades are all they truly care about, they judge you purely at a monetary level"

2pm: Moss - how low can you go? The energy was truly gone. I stared at my spreadsheet. Question mismatch - 4 words.

3pm: Flatlining - I had finished a certain stage for the project. I wonder over to my superior for direction. "Do you want a break? / Ugggghhhhhhhhh...... / Yeah"

3:30pm: Proud - HA - Techno Boy; take that outlook, Testing 1, 2, Three / Reply Prompt test - Test, RAJW this is SimBA Essex on RARA 1126, testing, 1, 2, three.

3:45pm: Shutdown computer 2 and 3. Clearing desk and setting desk materials. We're ready for Bec2, Monday morning. Bec1 away all week.

4pm: Lighthearted

5:30pm: Shocked & fearful - Job insecurities and confusion.

7:15pm: Surprise - Whoa, nice! Who's is that? They looks familiar... time passes... why is the other shop assistant here? I want to talk to the first one; alone. Assistant number 2: "You drink beer? / yea..." Moments later: beer in hand!

8:30pm: Giggly - dinner with friends over Pho. Ahh, the simplisity

10:30pm: Cut - Lecture number 4.

Later; Stuff happens.

Sitting, Wishing, Waiting

Okay I haven't blog in ages. Nothing has really sparked my mood to do so - at times, there is something but I am usually out or too cut/estatic to actually record it. They never seem as bad/good upon reflection. Probably something to do with my coping mechanism.

I've been working 12-5/5:30 everyday now since uni ended. My immediate supervisor is in Tiwan, so I essentially rock up when he does.

Been going to ballet 4 times a week now. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights and Saturday mornings and yet my interior adductor is as tight as ever. Damn them... makes sliding into the side split nearly impossible till the VERY end of class.

Looking for a new Gym. This is bullcrap by the way. Everything is so expensive and I am so poor!

I also need to find a good driving instructor to take me for driving lesson. My goal for the summer. DRIVE. Need to get moving.

I also feel incredibly dead inside somedays. It's not all bad because you know, we have to deal with people, things, deadlines. They make you forget, they make you smile but sometimes, when the world slows - or when the world has gotten so fast, your only moving a snail's speed to get to ponder for a little too long.

I sit, wish and wait.

I've also saw - no scratch that, skipped through Mamma Mia the movie in about half an hour like LAST Saturday but dear god; been walking around with it in my head everyday so far. I don't even dare to sit down and watch the whole thing. I do want to. Gay to love it but hey - go screw yourself for judging.