Average letdowns

I think people by nature can just let you down.

It can come at any moment in time (and this can be anyone, the person your in a relationship with, friends or family etc.) and a lot of the time it's not because they have done anything in particular but its something within their personality which just doesn't click with you. They go about doing/saying something, or not doing something, which invariably you don't understand as to why they have said that or why thay have made that/those choice/s... Thus, a clash in viewpoints/perspectives/personality (whatever you want to call it) occurs and they, from your perspective, they have disappointed you/pissed you off etc...

Am I making any sense? I hope I am... I'm not saying this to rage or to whine - but it was just a thought that came to me. Afterall, no one sensible in their right mind goes out of their way to annoy or disappoint those around them, right? Unless they had some weird evil vengeance thing going for them...

Anyway, I thought it was enlightening.

Bad madness

Why are we addicted to the things that are bad for us? Really? Why is it we enjoy things that we knowing accept are just that - BAD?

Is this some kind of reverse psychology our own mind plays on us?

I'm still waiting...

Why?

I feel like I'm simply floating and there's nothing to ground me.

Positive complexions

As complex and intricate as they are, I truly value my friendships.

Sure! I don't always have the perfect formula in terms of behaving in the right manner or expending/investing the my efforts appropriately... but surely, I would like to think, I am slowly getting there. Human interaction is hard, and I guess this is merely another factor I need to consider.

My friends are my family. As cliche as that is, it's true.

Ideally, they should last a lifetime, but being realistic, it seem improbable... only time will tell.

However, in the meantime, I am thankful.

Comteplative procrastination session

I am compelled to blog. Not because I have anything "real" to say to the world or that there is anyone "true" to read my words on this miniture speck that is the world wide web.

Yet, here I am.

I think blogging work, as a concept. There are a few people that I know that blogs on a regular basis amidst their everyday lives, with each entry as compelling and insightful as the last. It's quite admirable. I find it tiring to do so, and there is no way in which I am able to gather my thoughts in such a coherent manner, day in and day out. Often, if there is any issue or such food for thought, by the time I settle down to type it, its a though the words have no meaning... significant, yes! Worthwhile blogging for the world... no...

So why do we do it? I do it out of procrastination. Often this conincides with those times in my life in which I am the most busy. I get fluttered and my thoughts wonder. I think too much anyway. I think I like it because it gives me a sense of accomplishment when admist the million micro-thoughts (which may or may not be connection with one another) I have something that is compact and concrete

Musilosophy

Music is a powerful emotive tool. Careful how you use it.

I hate the Veronicas and the Beatles.

I'm in quite a foul mood right now. More reasons than one but all thanks to certain individuals whom will always manage to suck the fun out of everything; or any sense of happiness as soon as they enter a room.

Care Bear

I am going to stop caring.

AND stop seeking.

Happy Tree Friends

A friend the other day mentioned something I kind of already knew. But the whole notion of it is kind of sad.

Most people meet via circumstance and a relationship potentially forms from that. However, a lot of the times, it is circumstantial. Would you actively seek them out if they went away? Changed uni, jobs etc etc. People just drift! Sometimes closer and sometimes further away.

I don't think we can protect ourselves from this. It's kind of disturbing - thinking your best friend or the like may be gone tomorrow.

Another questions also arise. Can you have more than 1 person fulfilling the role of 'best' friend. I honestly don't know but that term, whoever the hell coined it, is so awkward in modern day contexts. It would be nice if it were true but in light of 'above' can we take that for granted? Can we have any faith in that?

PS I'm being pre-dumped.

Broken hearted

I'm sitting here typing on my blackberry, waiting for the damn tram and freezing myself in the meantime. I honestly can't express how much I hate public transport! I want to drive - I do! It's just kind of hard to learn when 1/ you don't have an auto car to practice in and 2/ no one to supervise me...

Anyway, after a certain phone call I wonder how people in close relationships actually work together - whether that be friendship or the more intimate kind. My boss and his wife are the epitome of what it is like to strike the perfect balance. Both capable of working and living together. But that's one in a million! I don't know how they do it but they do! Oh I almost forgot my ballet teachers are the same. Geez, they're different though - ha look at that.

Actually even as I'm typing this I wonder if maybe it's just me. From an entirely emotionally removed perspective I've been known to be notoriously complicated, confusing, annoying and well anything off the top of your head when you think; me.

Okay new perspective - I'm socially retarded and completely incapable of being truly happy. So where does that leave me? Do I play the blame game - neglect? Domineering parents? Bad social circle or the lack of? What? Change?

I'm not strong enough to do it on my own. With over 6 billion people on this planet, I wish I could peak into the mind of any to see if anything I thought or felt resembled normality in the minds of others. Or conversely someone saw the world exactly the way I do.

People say we'll cross that bridge when we come to it; but I can see it! And it's nothing like what I imagined it to be. All of this is getting further and further from what I wanted to say. Typical. Anyway you would think he'd be there to catch you when you fall...

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost