I'm not sure if I have a body image problem or whether or not my issues with my overall body are warranted given that I want to dance.
My overall skeletal looseness and lack of strength I can somewhat deal with. It's a matter of getting stronger. However what I don't understand is why I struggle so much. I don't see any muscles definition, everything is just round. ROUND!!!
Ballet is about lines and I have roundness. I have to say the inevitable words. FML.
So, what about dieting. However, this leaves me even weaker!! To improve I need fuel, which if you want to diet, you can't. Throw in the gym and etc etc etc. Again. FML
Hey look, I'm some kind of moronic hipster. I should type like tis kewl ey?
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
August 19, 2011
October 19, 2009
Our problem
Everyone has problems. That's the bottom line and I think every now then, we definitely need to remind ourselves of this.
I can get pretty caught up in my own world sometimes, and I think it is definitely something I should do more often.
Not only does it make my issues look like another miniture speck of sand on the beach, but the whole process of talking it out with another individual whom genuinely wants to hear about it and shed some light on the matter is a truly amazing experience! I mean, they are willing to take some time out of their lives to help you with something that has no relation to them - even though they may have issues of a similiar nature.
Even when your stress eating it doesn't seem so bad...
It like sitting there starring out to sea. It's not to say we're insignificant, merely that in the greater context of things... relax... breathe...
I finish ballet class early today and that's exactly what I did with an old friend whom I had not seen in a long time. It these reasons why I always emphasize how much I truly value my friends.
Whether I believe what I am saying if course another matter... but at least I know it is true.
I can get pretty caught up in my own world sometimes, and I think it is definitely something I should do more often.
Not only does it make my issues look like another miniture speck of sand on the beach, but the whole process of talking it out with another individual whom genuinely wants to hear about it and shed some light on the matter is a truly amazing experience! I mean, they are willing to take some time out of their lives to help you with something that has no relation to them - even though they may have issues of a similiar nature.
Even when your stress eating it doesn't seem so bad...
It like sitting there starring out to sea. It's not to say we're insignificant, merely that in the greater context of things... relax... breathe...
I finish ballet class early today and that's exactly what I did with an old friend whom I had not seen in a long time. It these reasons why I always emphasize how much I truly value my friends.
Whether I believe what I am saying if course another matter... but at least I know it is true.
November 9, 2008
Dysfunction
There are honestly too many things that are simply dysfunctional.
One of the worse things about being dumped is the fact that you gain weight. It doesn't really matter how much of an impact the relationship has on you - you will get fatter. It's so sad. You might end up healthier and fitter on the otherside of it all but in the mean time, it's another pint of ice-cream; which I don't have in my house right but I seriously want one!
Here's a picture!
Another dysfunctional fact about me right now is my inability to study. I swear my talents of procrastinating have honestly reached an all time high. I have never wasted so much time in my life doing absolutely nothing. Well, nothing constructive anyway. I spent potentially hours upon hours research about cars. HOURS! I know nothing about them, but I keep reading and reading. All of which would be better suited to studying but nay.
I have also exhausted youtube to a certain extent. Sad
Thirdly, dysfunction comes in the form of a family dinner I just had. It wasn't the worse - but it does remind me as to why I hate them so much to begin with. It's always awkward for one. We don't talk for one thing and everything that does come out - is sort of forced and/or empty. My conversation with my sister ain't too bad though which is a relief. I'm actually kind of surprised how non-traumatic tonight's dinner was.
I need to leave the house at some point. It might not happen till my exam on Wednesday though. That would need I have not stepped actual sunlight since Friday night. Joy!
One of the worse things about being dumped is the fact that you gain weight. It doesn't really matter how much of an impact the relationship has on you - you will get fatter. It's so sad. You might end up healthier and fitter on the otherside of it all but in the mean time, it's another pint of ice-cream; which I don't have in my house right but I seriously want one!
Here's a picture!
Another dysfunctional fact about me right now is my inability to study. I swear my talents of procrastinating have honestly reached an all time high. I have never wasted so much time in my life doing absolutely nothing. Well, nothing constructive anyway. I spent potentially hours upon hours research about cars. HOURS! I know nothing about them, but I keep reading and reading. All of which would be better suited to studying but nay.
I have also exhausted youtube to a certain extent. Sad
Thirdly, dysfunction comes in the form of a family dinner I just had. It wasn't the worse - but it does remind me as to why I hate them so much to begin with. It's always awkward for one. We don't talk for one thing and everything that does come out - is sort of forced and/or empty. My conversation with my sister ain't too bad though which is a relief. I'm actually kind of surprised how non-traumatic tonight's dinner was.
I need to leave the house at some point. It might not happen till my exam on Wednesday though. That would need I have not stepped actual sunlight since Friday night. Joy!
October 27, 2008
Superbug
I feel like I've been hit by a cricket bat and then more some. Ughhh, my heads hurts, my eyes are watery and my nose is stuff beyond stuff. Sore throat too - ughhh.
I know how I got it, but its so not important right now. I can at least calmly state, I was NOT at fault.
Work is almost done, I finish on Wednesday to "focus" - not the parenthesise - on my exam preparation which I am now in full panic mode. This time around 3 of my 4 exams are essay based and require me to write a concise and weel formulated answer within a given time frame. OMG! I haven't done anything like this since year 12, scratch that, year 11. My English sucked in year 12, it was ironically better in year 11.
Why, oh why! I have 3 due in a day. 2 actual exams, 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, and an essay due at 5pm. FUN!
Why couldn't I be one of those kids that was just freakishly good at ballet, or music or design or something that was not examinable by a piece of paper. Like those kids I see everyday on my way to uni coming out from VCA or the Australian Ballet School. At least they love what they are doing. You can be interested in the subject you study but can you claim to love it?
In my opinion, paper based exams are the worst indicator of actual knowledge. It's a poor measure of all the unassessed knowledge and what is tested can be easily fake. Wrote memory - sure people call that learning, but is it really?! I mean, do these people actually remember or gain anything from the subject?
That's a rhetorical question by the way.
Okay, no cough medicine but 2 paracetamols later, I am ready for bed. On a full stomach of lard and havign not been to the gym.
I know how I got it, but its so not important right now. I can at least calmly state, I was NOT at fault.
Work is almost done, I finish on Wednesday to "focus" - not the parenthesise - on my exam preparation which I am now in full panic mode. This time around 3 of my 4 exams are essay based and require me to write a concise and weel formulated answer within a given time frame. OMG! I haven't done anything like this since year 12, scratch that, year 11. My English sucked in year 12, it was ironically better in year 11.
Why, oh why! I have 3 due in a day. 2 actual exams, 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, and an essay due at 5pm. FUN!
Why couldn't I be one of those kids that was just freakishly good at ballet, or music or design or something that was not examinable by a piece of paper. Like those kids I see everyday on my way to uni coming out from VCA or the Australian Ballet School. At least they love what they are doing. You can be interested in the subject you study but can you claim to love it?
In my opinion, paper based exams are the worst indicator of actual knowledge. It's a poor measure of all the unassessed knowledge and what is tested can be easily fake. Wrote memory - sure people call that learning, but is it really?! I mean, do these people actually remember or gain anything from the subject?
That's a rhetorical question by the way.
Okay, no cough medicine but 2 paracetamols later, I am ready for bed. On a full stomach of lard and havign not been to the gym.
August 31, 2008
Dysthymia
Cleaning the last dish was also the biggest chore. Placing the last of it, I washed my hands free of the grime and oil. Dirty...
Looking at the trash - the waste, I felt sick.
My mind wondered - it always did. The usual haunts.
Looking at the trash - the waste, I felt sick.
My mind wondered - it always did. The usual haunts.
August 30, 2008
A means to an End
Last week was bland and in many respects, it had plain sucked. Everything signifying nothing. [I had several entries lined up but it was the genius of blogger that perhaps it would be fun to recode these words into some illiterate script of 1 and 0 and other means of computer markup 'it' understood.]
Moments came and went but overall, it was a mutual understanding between life and myself that I would attempt, nay - bare the brute of it all, and cruise through as quickly as possible.
Like an MasterCard ad, I could count the moments - the good and the bad. I smiled politely but at the end of the day, the one I thing I was not comfortable with or in was my own skin - my life as a whole.
Am I just winning about the challenges of everyday life? Most likely.
Contemplative, a week on fast forward - Parentals. Uni. Work. Gym. Food. Tiffany & Co. Money. Housing. Him. Her. They.
Moments came and went but overall, it was a mutual understanding between life and myself that I would attempt, nay - bare the brute of it all, and cruise through as quickly as possible.
Like an MasterCard ad, I could count the moments - the good and the bad. I smiled politely but at the end of the day, the one I thing I was not comfortable with or in was my own skin - my life as a whole.
Am I just winning about the challenges of everyday life? Most likely.
Contemplative, a week on fast forward - Parentals. Uni. Work. Gym. Food. Tiffany & Co. Money. Housing. Him. Her. They.
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