Genetics

Are we doomed to live out the life of our parents?!

For most of us, we don't ever want to be our parents. However, genetics they make up the core of our being. In childhood, they shaped our personalities, fears, and weird quirks. Even with my own minimal exposure to my parents I do understand that I've picked up certain less than desirable qualities from them. Ironically the bad from both sides...

I always end up arguing with them whenever we meet. I am so sick of this. Shouldn't they be a source of comfort and love... No.....

It's like a horrible nightmare! 

Funsucker

Funsuckers: individuals who are capable of sucking all the fun/happiness out of a room simply by being present or even nearby.

Someone who you avoid at cost because they are also heavily ignorant of how much people dispises them.

Individuals who just don't get it; individuals who can't seem to ever function normally on a social/any level.

Even on Valentine's Day/ Chinese New Years Eve, when everything else has been so perfectly fun/good...

People I hate.

My father.

FUCK YOU!

Fuck you...

Average letdowns

I think people by nature can just let you down.

It can come at any moment in time (and this can be anyone, the person your in a relationship with, friends or family etc.) and a lot of the time it's not because they have done anything in particular but its something within their personality which just doesn't click with you. They go about doing/saying something, or not doing something, which invariably you don't understand as to why they have said that or why thay have made that/those choice/s... Thus, a clash in viewpoints/perspectives/personality (whatever you want to call it) occurs and they, from your perspective, they have disappointed you/pissed you off etc...

Am I making any sense? I hope I am... I'm not saying this to rage or to whine - but it was just a thought that came to me. Afterall, no one sensible in their right mind goes out of their way to annoy or disappoint those around them, right? Unless they had some weird evil vengeance thing going for them...

Anyway, I thought it was enlightening.

Obtuse

I honestly don't know anyone more obtuse. He is in my family - God, the horror.

As I look at him, readings and trying to comprehend a simple letter, mispronouncing and interpreting everything - I pray to God I am nothing like him. He was thick, thicker than anything he could imagine.

I'm pretty thick sometimes, it sad. I know it.

But I HATE it when people who are clearly indept think their a genius, or those people that ask for help but simply shune everything you tell them - thinking they know better. They believe themselves to truly pocess some third dimensional power of me - or that they at least should have this power. [Maybe I did learn something from that forsaken subject known as Organisation Behavior]

The irony being this is the same person!

You drive me up the wall!

Dysfunction

There are honestly too many things that are simply dysfunctional.

One of the worse things about being dumped is the fact that you gain weight. It doesn't really matter how much of an impact the relationship has on you - you will get fatter. It's so sad. You might end up healthier and fitter on the otherside of it all but in the mean time, it's another pint of ice-cream; which I don't have in my house right but I seriously want one!

Here's a picture!



Another dysfunctional fact about me right now is my inability to study. I swear my talents of procrastinating have honestly reached an all time high. I have never wasted so much time in my life doing absolutely nothing. Well, nothing constructive anyway. I spent potentially hours upon hours research about cars. HOURS! I know nothing about them, but I keep reading and reading. All of which would be better suited to studying but nay.

I have also exhausted youtube to a certain extent. Sad

Thirdly, dysfunction comes in the form of a family dinner I just had. It wasn't the worse - but it does remind me as to why I hate them so much to begin with. It's always awkward for one. We don't talk for one thing and everything that does come out - is sort of forced and/or empty. My conversation with my sister ain't too bad though which is a relief. I'm actually kind of surprised how non-traumatic tonight's dinner was.

I need to leave the house at some point. It might not happen till my exam on Wednesday though. That would need I have not stepped actual sunlight since Friday night. Joy!