October 22, 2008

OCD

1. The gym is an uber homosexual place.


You can disagree if you want but that's just my opinion, I don't really have any like empirical evidence or anything. It's just what I think. It's like when I say Entourage is a guy's version of Sex and the City - story of a bunch of guy's sexual conquests, money, careers, relationships and their friendship. I told a friend this the other day and it's funny how stunned he was, defensive and almost as if he was suddenly in a position where he had to prove something hehehe.

A guy on a neighboring table overheard and chuckled. He totally agreed with me, claiming he watched both (in a comfortable and un-emasculated manner - I don't think that is a word btw, anyway...) Damn it! I probably should have talked to him a bit more! Gah

What was I on about again? Yeah, um gym = gay. Not that I mind - cause you know, I'm open minded haha

2. Going to the gym is so tedious.


I can't express my lack of progress; especially in contrast to energy input. Though I have to admit I have been able to eat more without a huge detrimental effect. Though I wish the scale would stop creeping up. Guy my weight are so much buffer - which kind of just indicate my massive body fat levels. Kind of depressing really.

Not only do you have watch for technique, which ironically turns it almost into an Art form - I mean, it has 'technique'; you also have to monitor load and reps and know when its time to overload. It's all very strategic, to build body mass without looking bulky is a relative decent timeframe. Lean muscle is nice but it'll be a really really long time coming if you intend to start that way. Maybe if you got bulk and then slow it down to tone it further... I don't know. I'm obviously no expert.

And finally damn body fat! Oh and you have the matter of keeping things symmetrical. I've said this before and I'll say it again - girls have it so much easier in this respect. How come celebrities can drop like 8967438609 pounds and tone up in like 6 weeks. Even with a trainer and a dietion - wtf, I don't even think I can handle it mentally let alone physically.

3. I've been relationship advoidant


I think it's been a good 4 days since I've actually dealt with my relationship problems, face-to-face. I'm just so unsettled by the whole thing. I don't particularly know how to feel. Am I suppose to be upset, angry, indifferent?! I always begin by fuming and then it results in absolute resentment and finally
'emo' followed by a general sense of being... kind of lost. Like in the moronic sense. This is probably what makes me a 'marshmallow'

I think admist everything it's the fact that I care that jumps out at me. I never, honest to god, thought it would make such an impact. We never did anything major, as the rest of world reminded me every now and then "ahh the honeymoon phase". Again, I'm just now lost for words.

4. Blackberry email gives me time to blog on my long journey home


Finally a productive outlet! Good considering, I can't read whilst moving.

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